FINALLY! An Answer!!!

[Murrie]

The Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow:


http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/

Three shall be the number thou shalt count

Airspeed can also be predicted using a published formula. By inverting this midpoint Strouhal ratio of 0.3 (fA/U ≈ 0.3), Graham K. Taylor et al. show that as a rule of thumb, the speed of a flying animal is roughly 3 times frequency times amplitude (U ≈ 3fA).5

We now need only plug in the numbers:

U ≈ 3fA
f ≈ 15 (beats per second)
A ≈ 0.22 (meters per beat)
U ≈ 3*15*0.22 ≈ 9.9

... to estimate that the airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is 10 meters per second.

[Riddick]

I always giggle when I see the word "swallow"

[Aarimus]

I am so relieved, this has been bugging me for years.

[Morety]

But, what if the swallow were carrying a coconut?

[Boom]

Coconuts are migratory?!?!!

[Aarimus]

But, what if the swallow were carrying a coconut?
That would be one Uber swallow.

[Murrie]

Aarimus I ORDER you to go to the video store NOW and rent Search for the Holy Grail. GO NOW, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200!

[Figtoria]

They could grip it by the husk!

[Murrie]

Its not a question of where he grips it, its a simple question of weight ratios. A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut

[butress]

rofl. this thread pwns

[Boom]

What if two swallows carried one coconut together?

[Murrie]

Well simple, they just use a strand of creeper

[Aasimon]

Well simple, they just use a strand of creeper

What if that 5oz swallow is made of some super light allow sent from the future with plans that were secretly encoded in the sound waves of a futuristic rendition of Bing crosby's white christmas. Then a crack team of scientists would on a lucky chance discover the secret plans via a relatively obscure but still common mathematical theory/equation that makes it seem like they are all really smart. They would then use the allow to craft the super light but incredibly strong and efficient 5oz mechanical swallow that programmed with a positronic brain, mysteriously acquired from a hermit researcher, could carry a coconut!. The scientists would ask the hermit how much it would take for him to finish his prototype this week and he would say 40 zillion dollars and these US funded scientists would ask him If he would take a check. (somewhere in america a call is made for the US mint to print some more money because we have more spending to do) With everything assembled.. a group of anti-swallows hereafter known as SPIT would sabotage the whole affair and obliterate the prototype in front of millions of onlookers awaiting the first coconut carried by a swallow. The scientists are overcomb by a deepening depression when out of nowhere a rich balding philanthropist/multi gazillionaire says that there was actually enough alloy for 2 swallows, and why just do one swallow when you can do 2! So he leads them team to his secret mountain fortress in japan and shows them a fully functional replica of the earlier failure. The bird indeed carriers the coconut in it's first test, but for some reason the camera recording the event recorded static. One researcher mysteriously noted that it did indeed record static BUT it recorded 4 days worth of static! He was immediately shot for making a statement that made no sense in this story.

The end.

[Murrie]

And Saint Harry raised the hand grenade up on high saying, ‘Oh lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it, thy may blow thy enemies to tiny bits within thy mercy.’ The lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and orang-utans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and....

And the lord spake, saying ‘first thou shall take out the holy pin, then thall shall count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count, and the number of the counting shall be three, four shall thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number thoust shall reach, then lobbest thou the holy hand grenade of antioch, towards the foe, who being naughty in my sight shall snuff it.

[Elvtin]

lmao
/em inserts the Holy Grail into his DvD player...

[Rooster]

What's your favorite color?

[Morety]

Red! ... no.. BLUE!

[Snoogens]

Neeee!

[kwilma]

there is a guild on deathwing wow called 'The knights of Ni'

makes me laugh everytime i see one running by.

[Murrie]

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis split...

Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat.
A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.

[xrxtypeo]

I would have dared the castle they wouldnt dared, thats for sure!

no matter how perilious the peril was!