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View Full Version : Leno's View on Kerry!

Ziggin
08-02-2004, 09:45 AM
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its
protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with
two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people
mad at him." - Jay Leno


"We make jokes about it but the truth is this presidential
election really offers us a choice of two well-informed opposing
positions on every issue. OK, they both belong to John Kerry,
but they're still there." - Jay Leno


"John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder.
He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on
Iraq." - Jay Leno


"President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what
John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating."
- Jay Leno


"Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can
identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still
thinks he's the dad from 'The Munsters."'! - Jay Leno


"John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich.
You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them."
- Jay Leno


"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate
in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually,
that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'"
- Jay Leno


:rolly:
Grundy
08-02-2004, 11:04 AM
ROFL thats good comedy!
Allison
08-02-2004, 12:29 PM
:laugh:
Boom
08-02-2004, 03:27 PM
LOL, those are pretty funny.
Roscoes_C&W
08-02-2004, 03:29 PM
Howard Stern told me that Jay Leno sucks. So therefore I am not amused by this, SCREW JAY LENO GOOOOOO HOWARD!!!
Swifty_Johnson
08-02-2004, 03:36 PM
Leno has some good Bush ones too. Of all the stand up comics Leno is the one who doesn't show any bias and takes an equal number of shots at both guys.

Swifty
Roscoes_C&W
08-02-2004, 03:37 PM
Ya well that may be the case but the Jimmy Kimmel show is better.
Boom
08-02-2004, 05:13 PM
Leno does suck, in general. But the Leno jokes in this thread are actually pretty good. Definitely more funny then I normally expect out of Leno.

Jimmy Kimmel cracks me up. And Stern is the best.
Rooster
08-02-2004, 07:24 PM
Except Lurch wasn't the Munster's DAD... he was the BUTLER..

Geez Leno... looks like someone needs to take him J-Walking... LOL
Canidae
08-02-2004, 08:41 PM
LOL!

You are close hun. Lurch wasn't the Munster's dad or their butler! He was the butler for the Addam's Family. :P
Ziggin
08-03-2004, 07:08 AM
:owned: !
Rooster
08-03-2004, 09:01 AM
Hey, I was closer than Leno. And I didn't say he was THEIR butler... just the butler... :p
Kegg OBeer
08-03-2004, 09:22 AM
Lurch and Herman Munster don't look all that different...
Ivyrielle
08-03-2004, 09:27 AM
Lurch is intentionally creepier than Herman Munster. Herman's just a well intentioned bumbler.

(I named my daughter Lily after Lily Munster, because Yvonne de Carlo is the moooostestt beauuutiful woman in the world!)
Boom
08-03-2004, 10:22 AM
She was a hotty! She did Goth right.
cogsliastro
08-04-2004, 12:09 PM
Except Lurch wasn't the Munster's DAD... he was the BUTLER..

acctually, i think he looks more like herman than lurch.
Ivyrielle
08-04-2004, 01:18 PM
She was a hotty! She did Goth right.

She sure did! She's been my lifelong idol. She's *still* the most beautiful woman in the world to me!

(And yes, it freaked my parents out when their sweet daughter pointed out a hearse and said "I want a car like *that* when I grow up!" I was probably 6.)