Sparky
05-31-2006, 12:04 PM
I saw this online and it had me in tears. I dunno if anyone has posted it or not yet.
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BEHOLD! The Liberal Agenda!
8:00 Wake up. Hug tree.
8:10 Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
8:20 Get dressed in hemp suit.
8:30 Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
8:45 - Drive to methadone clinic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible
furnace.
8:50 Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
9:00 Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other
books not The Bible.
10:00 Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
10:20 Pickup welfare check.
10:30 Cash check.
10:35 Buy more pot.
11:30 Miscellaneous Sodomy.
12:00 Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at
upscale coffee shop.
12:30 Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
1:30 Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
3:30 Bomb a church.
4:00 Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run
today.
5:00 Formal dinner/fund raiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest
speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
6:30 Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
6:45 Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young
student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
7:10 Smoke pot.
7:15 Giggle for about twenty minutes.
7:35 Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
8:00 Pay pizza man in food stamps.
8:30 Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
9:30 Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No
stem cells, watching weight.
10:00 Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
10:30 Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.
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BEHOLD! The Liberal Agenda!
8:00 Wake up. Hug tree.
8:10 Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
8:20 Get dressed in hemp suit.
8:30 Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
8:45 - Drive to methadone clinic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible
furnace.
8:50 Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
9:00 Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other
books not The Bible.
10:00 Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
10:20 Pickup welfare check.
10:30 Cash check.
10:35 Buy more pot.
11:30 Miscellaneous Sodomy.
12:00 Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at
upscale coffee shop.
12:30 Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
1:30 Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
3:30 Bomb a church.
4:00 Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run
today.
5:00 Formal dinner/fund raiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest
speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
6:30 Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
6:45 Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young
student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
7:10 Smoke pot.
7:15 Giggle for about twenty minutes.
7:35 Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
8:00 Pay pizza man in food stamps.
8:30 Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
9:30 Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No
stem cells, watching weight.
10:00 Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
10:30 Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.