Ivyrielle
02-15-2006, 07:26 PM
Found this article quoted on another board and found it amusing enough to share. ;)
Flirts: doing what comes naturally Sun Feb 12, 7:45 PM ET
PARIS (AFP) - Brits are boorish, French flatter, Scandanavians play it cool, and Italians get intimate. Everyone does it, but how we flirt depends largely on our culture and a host of unspoken rules.
"Basically we are descended from a long line of successful flirts and it is hard-wired into our brains," social anthrophologist Kate Fox told AFP.
"If we didn't initiate contact with the opposite sex, then we wouldn't reproduce, and the species would die out."
With Valentine's Day approaching on Tuesday, those searching for a soulmate or just for a bit of fun will be sharpening their skills, ready for a bit of banter and eyelash battering all in the hope of catching one of Cupid's arrows.
But beware of injury to tender parts. For the subtle rules of flirting vary so much, that foreigners are often caught unawares unsure if they are being courted or insulted.
In the Netherlands, touching strangers, even just a friendly hand on the shoulder in the pub, is a big no no, as is approaching or complimenting a stranger in the street.
Catina, a 30-something American woman working for an international organisation in The Hague with three Dutch boyfriends under her belt, said: "In the Netherlands you have eye contact and approach men, they don't approach you.
"At home (the US) you just stand there and they come to you. Here you have to be more aggressive," said Catina, who was voted Biggest Flirt in high school.
In Britain, flirting tends to be alcohol-fuelled to cover up fears of intimacy and rejection.
"The British male is either reticent, tongue-tied and awkward, or boorish and crass, and he usually consumes too much alcohol. English male flirting tends to be very circuitous, and involve a lot of insults rather than compliments," said Fox.
"I've had to explain lots of times to foreign friends that 'silly cow' can really be a term of endearment," added the Oxford-based researcher who has just published a book "Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour."
British girls, used to the drunken pub environment back home, can be taken aback during trips across the Channel to France unused to a sudden rush of compliments and open flirtation.
"Frenchmen are less sexually obvious, there is less banter and they are more direct. They'll say cheesy things like 'you have really nice eyes'," said one young journalist.
It's also perfectly acceptable in France for men to walk up to a stranger in the street and ask them to go for a coffee, even at the risk of being knocked back.
In Sweden visitors may be deceived into thinking that flirting does not exist, since two strangers rarely exchange glances, a wink or a telling smile.
But come the weekend, Swedes, both men and women, let loose. Don't expect sophisticated romance though, as it's not unusual for an inebriated Swede to immediately ask the woman who has caught his eye if she wants to have sex.
In Italy where men and women embrace with ease at each meeting, foreign girls can be seen as fair game by young Italian males, often frustrated by long, traditional courtships with their Italian girlfriends.
Even though bottom-pinching may now be a thing of the past, women sitting on their own in a Rome cafe are likely to attract more than one rowdy "Ciao bella!" and could find it hard to shake off their unwanted beau.
Indeed knowing when an innocent flirt has crossed the boundaries into sexual harassment is not always obvious, though Fox said that as soon as you begin to get negative signals it's time to back off.
A recent sociological study in the Czech Republic carried out for the labour ministry found that most people perceived sexual harassment as being "a concept artificially imported from abroad."
"Conversations with hidden erotic meaning, provocative allusions and even rude stories are all part of what makes the world go round," the study concluded.
Yet, the Germans ever anxious to get it right have taken things one step further with several schools offering individual or group lessons in flirting etiquette.
For 125 euros (150 dollars) students can take part in a weekend "Flirt Workshop" at the Be2 school with teachers Justina Lethen and Volker Dettke saying their "knowledge of flirting comes as much from their scientific as well as their practical experience."
Fox said the idea of taking lessons in what should come naturally was not a bad one. "After all eating is natural, but we don't all have good table manners," she said with a laugh.
Flirts: doing what comes naturally Sun Feb 12, 7:45 PM ET
PARIS (AFP) - Brits are boorish, French flatter, Scandanavians play it cool, and Italians get intimate. Everyone does it, but how we flirt depends largely on our culture and a host of unspoken rules.
"Basically we are descended from a long line of successful flirts and it is hard-wired into our brains," social anthrophologist Kate Fox told AFP.
"If we didn't initiate contact with the opposite sex, then we wouldn't reproduce, and the species would die out."
With Valentine's Day approaching on Tuesday, those searching for a soulmate or just for a bit of fun will be sharpening their skills, ready for a bit of banter and eyelash battering all in the hope of catching one of Cupid's arrows.
But beware of injury to tender parts. For the subtle rules of flirting vary so much, that foreigners are often caught unawares unsure if they are being courted or insulted.
In the Netherlands, touching strangers, even just a friendly hand on the shoulder in the pub, is a big no no, as is approaching or complimenting a stranger in the street.
Catina, a 30-something American woman working for an international organisation in The Hague with three Dutch boyfriends under her belt, said: "In the Netherlands you have eye contact and approach men, they don't approach you.
"At home (the US) you just stand there and they come to you. Here you have to be more aggressive," said Catina, who was voted Biggest Flirt in high school.
In Britain, flirting tends to be alcohol-fuelled to cover up fears of intimacy and rejection.
"The British male is either reticent, tongue-tied and awkward, or boorish and crass, and he usually consumes too much alcohol. English male flirting tends to be very circuitous, and involve a lot of insults rather than compliments," said Fox.
"I've had to explain lots of times to foreign friends that 'silly cow' can really be a term of endearment," added the Oxford-based researcher who has just published a book "Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour."
British girls, used to the drunken pub environment back home, can be taken aback during trips across the Channel to France unused to a sudden rush of compliments and open flirtation.
"Frenchmen are less sexually obvious, there is less banter and they are more direct. They'll say cheesy things like 'you have really nice eyes'," said one young journalist.
It's also perfectly acceptable in France for men to walk up to a stranger in the street and ask them to go for a coffee, even at the risk of being knocked back.
In Sweden visitors may be deceived into thinking that flirting does not exist, since two strangers rarely exchange glances, a wink or a telling smile.
But come the weekend, Swedes, both men and women, let loose. Don't expect sophisticated romance though, as it's not unusual for an inebriated Swede to immediately ask the woman who has caught his eye if she wants to have sex.
In Italy where men and women embrace with ease at each meeting, foreign girls can be seen as fair game by young Italian males, often frustrated by long, traditional courtships with their Italian girlfriends.
Even though bottom-pinching may now be a thing of the past, women sitting on their own in a Rome cafe are likely to attract more than one rowdy "Ciao bella!" and could find it hard to shake off their unwanted beau.
Indeed knowing when an innocent flirt has crossed the boundaries into sexual harassment is not always obvious, though Fox said that as soon as you begin to get negative signals it's time to back off.
A recent sociological study in the Czech Republic carried out for the labour ministry found that most people perceived sexual harassment as being "a concept artificially imported from abroad."
"Conversations with hidden erotic meaning, provocative allusions and even rude stories are all part of what makes the world go round," the study concluded.
Yet, the Germans ever anxious to get it right have taken things one step further with several schools offering individual or group lessons in flirting etiquette.
For 125 euros (150 dollars) students can take part in a weekend "Flirt Workshop" at the Be2 school with teachers Justina Lethen and Volker Dettke saying their "knowledge of flirting comes as much from their scientific as well as their practical experience."
Fox said the idea of taking lessons in what should come naturally was not a bad one. "After all eating is natural, but we don't all have good table manners," she said with a laugh.